The end

you suddenly hear a large bang louder than anything you’ve heard before

you look outside to see mushroom clouds of radiation from multiple dirty bombs dropped by Russia enveloping your surroundings

it’s the end. you die

you wake up on a cloud with a mystical man signing some paperwork. It’s Jesus

you tell him you’re scared and don’t know where you are

Jesus checks his papers, then looks at you with heavy disappointment. “I’m sorry anon.. It says, you’re not allowed in. It says you need to go.”

all of a sudden you fall off the cloud

you keep falling

your surroundings turn dark

the air starts to smell of smoke and you can taste ash on your tongue

you start to hear people moaning

suddenly you land in a pool of scalding hot lava. it burns like nothing you’ve ever felt and you quickly crawl out onto a rock

the air is thick in this pit. It’s loud. It’s hot.

you finally see it.exe

Millions upon millions of naked humans wailing in agony, their skin peeling from the heat and being whipped by large scaly demons that repeatedly push them back into the lava

everyone moaning in agony. Can’t hear anything

can’t focus on anything, in too much pain. Can’t do anything but scream and add to the moans of everybody

What’s your reaction?

youtube.com/watch?v=OI-HvPR37w4

So uneducated, he thinks Russia would "drop dirty bombs"

- idiot's fantasy discarded

So uneducated and embarrassingly GULLIBLE He actually believes Jesus ever existed

- down syndrome orangutan boy

completely dodges the main point of the thread and focuses on one small irrelevant aspect of how you died

Nice

So painfully uneducated and uninformed, he thinks he would peel people's skin back

knows nothing about the physiological logistics of nuclear detonations

- inbred low IQ pond scum

pool of scalding hot lava

- Lonely effeminate weirdo has watched too many sci-fi movies

Absolutely SEETHING because you were asked to confront your moral compass for once, aren’t you?

Russia's nuclear arsenal is shit. All the money that was earmarked for it got diverted into corrupt self enrichment.

There's no way that shits flying across the ocean over here

written like a true insecure dog foaming at the mouth

MY REACTION:

I would say laughter, but there's nothing funny about your level of ignorance and gullibility

Jesus never existed, dumbass

It's just an old myth, beginning thousands of years beforehand, with the Egyptian god HORUS

The Virgin mother...
The miraculous birth on December 15th...
The 12 Memphis Mafia bodyguards...
The miracles...
the murder....
resurrected 3 days later....

This was a pre-existing myth that lasted thousands of years before your stupid 'Jesus version' of the exact same story was fabricated

YOU ARE GULLIBLE AS FUCK

It would be very easy to con you out of money

BELIEVES IN MORALS

see? Just like I said...

You are gullible as fuck!!!

December 25th
typo
My bad

JESUS NEVER EXISTED
And you are a gullible fool

Your morals exist only between your ears, and no place else

Fuck your morals

Fuck your opinions

You're a gullible fucking idiot

you’re a regurgitating dog stuck on repeat

Everyone moaning in agony.

Can’t hear anything

can’t focus on anything, in too much pain.

Can’t do anything but scream and add to the moans of everybody.

Can’t do anything but scream and add to the moans of everybody.

Guess I'll scream and add to the moans of everybody. You answered our questions for us. OP you fucking retard.

HAHAHAHAHAH
You wouldn’t even try to escape???

IF YOU GOT PUSSY
none of this would matter

This is a question
asked by a man
WHO GETS NO PUSSY

My wife and I go to church every Sunday

GOOD
GO EVERY Fucking week for all I fucking care

MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS

Please find Christ brother
You will burn in the pits of hell

Your wife is a gullible fat pig

obviously desperate if she settled for a deep shit like you

No I won't
Also Christ doesn't exist

Go to church every Sunday

I see you managed to find a retarded woman

Good thinking
That way she won't realize you're actually a faggot

(All Christian men are closet homosexuals)

failed to mention his wife's weight problem

Don't think that went unnoticed

how I knew about her weight problem:

Christianity duh

Your wife is a gullible fat pig

She’s a wonderful god fearing woman who cooks and bakes for me yes and she will go to heaven when all this is said and done

confirms the wait problem by pretending He didn't read it

Like I said, maybe you should have come more prepared today?

Tell your wife I can help her lose all the ugly excess fat

lol @wait

I'm using speech to text while I get ready for a nice dinner and movie night with my brilliant genius beautiful wife WHO KNOWS JESUS NEVER EXISTED

You confirmed your wife's weight problem by trying to gloss over it

by not mentioning it

Tell her she's probably got candidiasis
That's why she's so big around the middle
That's why she always craves sugar

Tell her I can help her lose all of the ugly weight

Yeah she eats a lot of sugar so what but that’s not because she’s overweight or Christian she just likes to bake pies

fuck me, I'd better call work to let them know I won't be coming in today

confirms sugar cravings

see how easy this is?......
I'm making it incredibly easy for you

SHE PROBABLY HAS CANDIDIASIS

CANDIDIASIS = an overproliferation of the candida auris fungus

It's a natural part of our gut biome, but when it becomes imbalanced, it feeds on sugar, and the fungus literally controls people's brains, making them THINK THEY ARE CRAVING SUGAR

similar to the way fungus can control ants

a majority of Americans have candidiasis, and don't even realize it

It's indicated by sugar cravings and
being big around the middle

around the middle area

If she takes a medication called fluconazole, and doesn't miss a dose for 7 days, her sugar cravings will be gone

And she will lose a lot of weight IMMEDIATELY

you'd be surprised how fast she'll lose the weight after taking fluconazole and getting her candida levels back down to normal again

see how easy I'm making this for you?

signing some paperwork. It’s Jesus

jesus is a bureaucrat in heaven? LOL

an uncomfortable truth?

YOU probably have candidiasis, as well

Like I said....
majority of people have it
And don't even realize it

nobody ever explained it to them before

But now you know

now you know why all those sugary treats and pies seem to put a smile on your face

You're feeding the candida yeast in your gut biome

and the more you feed it, the more yeast there is, and the stronger the cravings become

Both of you need to take fluconazole
It won't hurt you to take it
Even if you don't have candidiasis

But it will probably make the sugar cravings stop immediately

by the way it's not fatty foods that makes people fat

SUGAR MAKES PEOPLE FAT

Yes sir

What’s your reaction?

well, according to you, i cant do anything but scream, so i guess thats my reaction. wholesome god you worship, though

another glorious day in heaven, better wake up and head to the office so i can process paperwork.

when's my retirement again? oh right, never.

poor Jesus

wtf, 3000 people dead at 9am on a tuesday? who the fuck? today was supposed to be a chill day and now i gotta process 3000 people. i hate my fkn job!

youtube.com/watch?v=ICloNwrg-_w

paperwork

Leave it to Jews to muck up the notion of heaven with a requisite bureaucracy.

guys GUYS will you stop talking over each other? youre forgetting that they died as martyrs, so technically all their sins are erased. besides, i died for their sin anyways, so theyre de facto forgiven! yes, that includes hitler, idolators, faithless, murderers and pedophiles.

I would like to speak to the head archon. There appears to be a mistake.

St. Mikhael the archangel has been summoned

What do you require

how many times do i have to say this? nobody is nothing, everybody is something. this means everyone had a belief; therefore everyone is a martyr. its literally impossible for someone not to believe in something, therefore everyone dies a martyr. its clear as crystal.

Yeah, um...what the [THIS_PLACE], man?

this is the only valid comment. op is a moron.

Egypt is a land of many mysteries

Man I wish they’d make a horror movie about waking up in hell but it’s actually scary

demand the respect and special treatment to which I as President of the United States am entitled ofc

Welcome to hell sir, thanks to your special service on the ground we will be promoting you to HEAD ENSLAVEMENT DEMON of SECTOR 66

Probably post more logs.

And there it is, the confirmation that if the log fag shows up in any way whatsoever and in a supposedly unrelated thread

Then that means this is his thread
And we are all being trolled by this fucking loser

Yes...Nag Hammadi, and all that. But still, why am I [$HERE]?

you're a retard who doesn't even know what logfag is.

mushroom clouds of radiation from multiple dirty bombs

you have no understanding of how mushroom clouds, radiation, or dirty bombs work, so i don't have much confidence in your understanding of the afterlife, either

throtes==CLOGGED

Everybody does. You're such an egotistical Dunning Krueger loser you inadvertently out yourself everyone of your threads

logfag getting mad

You are clearly an infantile moron

seriously. I can't imagine having to live with you

I feel so sorry for your family and friends

lol @ them being so stupid they think IM YOU!!!!

hahahahaha

And then they have the audacity to pat themselves on the back, taking pride in their observational skills

HAHAHAHA

Like I said earlier, I'm the one who made you not like me

I'm well aware when I'm making people not like me

I could easily make people like me if that's what I wanted

You don't have to like me
because I'm still a huge fan of yours

It's official!! I'm probably your biggest fucking fan ever!!
And I'm not joking

Believe it or not, I think it's somewhat historic
JN™ officially announces he's LOGFAG'S™ BIGGEST FAN!!!

And I am very picky about who I look up to

Pray to God that this isn't forever and try to meditate the pain away.

dunning Kruger
dunning Kruger
cunning druger
THAT'S ALL YOU EVER TALK ABOUT

DUNNING-KRUGER
was that supposed to make you appear intelligent?

.......... It's not working

Everybody should be talking about it

You literally think you're some sort of philosopher comedian Photoshop thread starter, cultural warrior, all sorts of things

When you are actually a cringeworthy untalented
Fat
boring
Faggot asshole

And on top of that you're a stupid Christ shit too

You're not just a dumb shit obsessed with shit eating, but a regular Nazi dog fucker

logfag is angry

Yes he is angry. I would be angry too if literally none of my threads ever got off the ground and they all turned into this firing squad we're seeing here

The first 2 sentences are so fucking dumb I had to stop reading. The sound travels slow. You wouldn't hear shit.

durr nookyoukurr missulz strike

you go 2 hell u mad?

lol

Loololol

Lava wouldn't feel hot. Without nerve endings, there's no such thing as pain, and lava is so hot it would burn away your nerve endings before you could feel it.

It doesn't make sense for hell to be painful. It only makes sense for it to be hopeless.

suddenly

You don't need to write "suddenly". Just saying "you land in a pool of lava" is already pretty sudden. In fact, the "suddenly" takes away from the effect because it warns us that something is about to happen

Somewhere in the early middle ages the sadistic people calling themselves bishops and Popes came up with the model where you're sent to hell then you feel the tortures with more feeling than you would if you were alive

They claimed to be followers of a religion of peace, but their actions showed they were hateful cruel wicked individuals who literally became the exact opposite of what they were supposed to believe

That’s helpful actually. Thanks
I guess it was intended to be for dramatic value

I have nothing but respect for the broader philosophy underpinning the Biblical texts, but the interpretations, ridiculous mystical ceremonies, and torture-porn motif of the major religious institutions earn nothing but contempt.

It’s hell lava it’s special
The rules don’t apply to it

Ultimately it's your decision. It might be good for greentext since it's so abbreviated, but in longer writings you could probably drop it 95% of the time.

I can see that, but the difference between us is that the really bad things they did sort of short circuited the good

And the "good" can't continue if the bad is constantly orbiting it for the rest of history

To be fair, you don't get rid of trains just because trains were used to transport people to Auschwitz. The value of Biblical philosophy is not diminished merely because some people had really dogshit takes of it and leveraged fear and suffering to gather institutional power.

Yes but Christianity is not any kind of reliable vehicle whatsoever

You get a different one. You get a different car or train that doesn't fucking throw people into a fucking lake of fire because they disagree with you

I would simply comprehend and endure because I'm built different, I would make my way out and take revenge

I would make my way out and take revenge

Please elaborate on how you would escape the pit

Yeah, you kind of have to be selective with your Biblical texts the way you might be selective with Comic Book Superhero timelines. I reject utterly the people who say you have to accept all of the Bible as literally true just because some fuckhead in a funny hat said so 700 years ago. Draw what value you can from it.

It's like, Old Testament. Pretty good overall. A couple of weird shit moments completely out of left field, but you kind of have to remember it was collected and collated by pedophiles with a lust for gold, so you ignore the ridiculous non-sequiturs and just focus on the parts filled with BEAUTIFUL symbolism and metaphor and allegory.

Then you get to the Jesusy parts, and it's like, holy shit, grace and salvation AREN'T just for a select group of privileged assholes? ANYONE can be redeemed? ANYONE can forgo sin and reap the rewards of virtue? It's not some special little club just for the Jews, and you're allowed to make mistakes as long as you acknowledge where and how you were wrong? Magical. Glorious. Hallelujah.

Then a couple of the Apostles went on with weird fanfiction about hell and angels and Lucifer, and one Pope in like 400AD decided to make it all canon. At that point you have to be very selective of which parts you're going to bother reading into. You can't take it all as true and infallible, and people who do are retarded.

I'll look at it more like both of those books had a profound influence on society and we actually fashioned many of our laws and culture Around them, but we've outgrown the 2000-year-old self hating superstitious my God can beat up your God fucking bullshit

It's time to move on. If this is about ascension, then we need to find out how to do that and we can do it without having to keep beating ourselves over the head and saying "tabernacle" over and over again

We are there for eternity, the pain is an illusion, you cannot die if you are already dead. Only I am the chosen one. I drag the NPCs screaming into a pile until I have a stairway out of the pit. I set a trap for an angel and ride it to heaven.

Congratulations you won the thread

Genesis, Job, Matthew, and Romans are my preferred.

Well OK, I would rather just look at pictures of stars and galaxies and think about how many infinite possibilities we don't even consider that are still there nonetheless

And that actually makes me feel very happy anon

Gluttimir the king demonic enforcer of Gluttony catches you trying to escape the lava pit and sentences you to be fed on for eternity by a pack of hungry boars
How do you plead?

It's a little bit like reading Shakespeare. It's mostly kinda flowery bullshit, but every now and then you just hit a point that resonates. Then you just have to reflect WHY it resonates.

Cain and Abel is nice and early, and you can look at it as a literal event, or as a symbolic representation of the two kinds of people in the world. People who work hard, are successful, and live well, and people who work hard, AREN'T successful, and so they blame the world itself and people who are successful until they get so angry they bash someone they love in the head with a rock and then pretend they didn't do anything wrong.

The rise of communism in a nutshell, basically.

I can see why it appeals to you, but for me religion is just too right wing.

I depict him as a soyjak