I'm in charge of Area 51, AMA

Do you think you'll ever get promoted to Area 52?

AGAIN, DUMBASS:

YOU DON'T KNOW HOW IT GOT THE NAME "AREA 51"

(It is NOT called area 51)

let's see how long it takes you to Google something, dumbass

Sometimes but then they erase my memory of it so in a way all I get out of it is feeling tired. I'm sure it's nice when doing it though. I just have no idea.

I hope not, I heard they all have sweaty grunty mansex with man aliens all day

ohhhh, the board police have arrived here at area 51, everyone stop having fun and get in your computer chairs

The entire United States is divided off into "areas", each of them assigned a different number

That just so happens to be area 51

But that's not what the facility is called

It's not my fault that you're stupid

Your lack of education is not my problem

no, you're wrong you stupid fucking morbidly obese gay idiot

...... And you're the only person who's ever touched your penis

I'm educated enough to be in charge of area 51

Gladiators dont act like trexes. Any opinions on how to improve pussyless bitch when the bitch doesnt care?

kek!

It's actually called the groom lake proving grounds

although the government documents refer to it as "homey airport"

(yes, HOMEY)

The particular facility you are talking about is referred to as S4

back in the early days, the Lockheed employees referred to it as "Paradise ranch", although that was just a colloquialism, and not an actual name anybody used other than Lockheed employees.

It's called the groom lake proving grounds

S4

I am SO glad you're here again

The fact that you deny living life in your lonely little gaming chair proves that you're a fucking coward

You're not big enough to admit the truth, even when everybody already knows it

All of your distraction techniques mean nothing

because you're not fooling anybody

YOU SPEND YOUR LIFE
SITTING IN A GAMING CHAIR
STARING AT A STUPID SCREEN
And you're the only one who touches your penis

prove me wrong, gamer

speaking of which....
what video game did you play all night last night?

My wife and I had a really, really good night last night.. simple but lots of fun

how many times did you masturbate last night?

when's the last time you cleaned that chair?

still waiting for more questions about my job at Area 51 which is what it's really called and anyone who says it isn't is a morbidly obese gay idiot

AMA

When will loli porn become utterly seamless and indistinguishable from the real thing?

blurrble blurrble blurrble blurrble blurrble blurrble

I don't know about that shit, I only know about Area 51 because that's where I live and it really is called Area 51 and anyone who says it isn't is a big gay who gays poodles up the plop pipe

kek!

Can you put me inside an alien?

..... back in 1990 I was in Las Vegas doing some work, when I learned about the groom lake proving ground

(The place novices refer to as "area 51")

That's when I first learned about Bob Lazar and George Knapp

back then, 'freedom ridge' was still open, So we took a taxi cab, believe it or not all the way to freedom ridge.

That was 35 years ago....

It's not called area 51

sure, if you like, I can put you in the Area 51 shrink ray and push you up Jabba the Hutt's plop pipe

didn't read that, just thought I'd mention that it really is called Area 51 though and you're gay

You're all out of grays?

lol @ Not even knowing what freedom ridge is

hahahahahaha

you know that scene in Armageddon where Bruce Willis punches the alien in the face and says YOU'RE WELCOME TO EARTH? That was based on me, I actually did that to an alien at Area 51 which is where I work and it's called Area 51.

this is the best AMA I've ever done

LOLvis got BTFO'd so hard he stopped namefagging
what a loser

AYA?.....

Why don't you have a girlfriend?
are you not sexually attracted to females?

AYA: are you a quadriplegic?

If you're sexually attracted to females, why don't you have a girlfriend? are you a quadriplegic?

lol didn't read lol u are gay hahaha AREA 51

name fagging? then how do you know who I am?

I don't need to use a name

because unlike you, everybody knows exactly who I am

lol AGAIN, Lonely masturbating child:
WHY DON'T YOU GET ANY PUSSY, LONELY BOY?

WHY DON'T WOMEN LIKE YOU?

obviously, women don't like you
Why not?

seriously though, Area 51 is actually called Area 51, that's why everyone calls it Area 51

lol didn't read that either

forgot the frog pic, lol soz, apologies to everyone at Area 51

AGAIN, LONELY MASTURBATING CHILD:

WHY CAN'T YOU FIND A WOMAN WHO LIKES YOU?

WHY ARE YOU STILL ALONE?

lol mental illness lol

Can you answer this (my) question instead of being derailed by easy bait?

You guys should come up with a new name for your little club:

"THE LONELY MASTURBATING TODDLER CLUB"

on a Saturday afternoon, you've all somehow managed to find each other

All of you are alone, none of you gets laid. You all spend your life sitting in gaming chairs staring at your stupid video games but none of you's getting any pussy

none of you gets pussy at all.

The Lonely masturbating toddler club ™

I think it describes you perfectly

i've never smoked meth before, do you recommend it?

I'm all out of grays, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right believing for so long you big gay

Maybe the bikers are contctin everyone around people to help communists as mafias little helpin nigger faggots? Life isnt easy when some nigger bitch cries "oh white people problems" and goes home eatin moms pussy.

keep frothing at the mouth, I'll keep just not bothering to read whatever mentally ill dogshit you post

any more Area 51 questions?

You said you've never had a girlfriend before?

we already know that
everybody already knows you've never had a girlfriend

girls don't like you
they never have
And theyre not about to start anytime soon

*hits pipe*

The Lonely masturbating toddlers club ™

So many fully grown adult toddlers
All of you masturbating
alone
in your gaming chairs

as if you're fooling anybody

every week you guys should tally up the numbers, how many times you each masturbated in the past 7 days

Make it official

imagine having a woman think you're interesting

imagine having a woman touch your penis for you

are you imagining that?
You imagine it every damn day
are you imagining it now?

are they hiring?

THE LONELY MASTURBATING TODDLERS CLUB ™

It's amazing You all found each other

birds of a feather

KEK

lol @ no woman respecting you

exactly how much longer do you intend on remaining a masturbating toddler in your little club?

That must be emasculating, watching other men find girlfriends so easily, while you continue sitting in that stupid fucking chair

But wouldn't it be fair to say that you are emasculating yourself?

because it's not women who are emasculating you

they don't even give you the time of day
they don't even realize you exist

it's YOU who's making the emasculating decisions everyday

it's YOU Who continues emasculating yourself every fucking day

So wouldn't it be more fair to say that you have emasculated yourself down to the level of a little boy?

imagine being so insecure that you have to bleat and shriek this much in a joke thread

It's not fair for you to blame women for you being emasculated

Women didn't do anything
they were never obligated
It was YOU Who kept making the emasculating decision

It was your choice to remain a stunted little child with his penis in his hand

while other men your age are knee deep in pussy

Your armchair psychoanalysis proves you know absolutely nothing about psychology whatsoever

any toddler could have come up with the same amateur psychoanalysis

oops!.... did I say TODDLER???

joke thread

4 billion women agree
when you sit in that chair every night
playing with your lonely penis
You're a fucking joke

The Lonely masturbating toddler
and his club of self emasculated sexually failed adults

okay... I've had a lot of fun today. I'm about to go feed two colonies of stray cats

they're more worthy of my attention than a handful of masturbating overgrown toddlers

Have fun playing video games tonight!!

reddit fags go back

all fields

lol @ you never going to Freedom Ridge before they shut it down

speaking of fags:

homosexual males never have sex with females

AND NEITHER DO YOU

isn't that coincidental?.....

homosexual males don't have sex with females

And you don't have sex with females either

I find that particularly coincidental
Don't you find it coincidental?
I think it's very coincidental

in fact, they say there's no such thing as coincidence

thank god i never started smoking crystal

-Did you get demoted from Area 52?
-Is it true that all the Janitors are all clones of Garry Busey?
-Have you met Xhorzblit? Does he still work there?
-What does gray alien taste like?
-When will you guys recapture Elon?
-Does the water fountains dispense Baja blast, or just the regular dew?
-alien nudes?

I just like to play along.

We have a pit where burning car tires out back, we usually just throw em down there.

doesn't even know who George Knapp is

there's lots of things you still haven't started

like being actively heterosexual, for example

But at least you've got that stupid fucking gaming chair, right?

SMOTH METH EVERYDAY

Fuck being "on the spectrum", this mf IS the goddamn spectrum.

you got any semi-fuckable bodies i can borrow? :3

back. those are some happy stray cats.

You don't know anything about psychology

You literally just stuck your foot into your stupid fucking uneducated mouth

YOU PROVED YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT PSYCHOLOGY

did you even graduate high school?

SMOTH

smooth work, Einstein

So you thought memorizing the word SPECTRUM somehow made you seem knowledgeable in psychology?

hahahahaha

nobody in this thread even knows who George Knapp is hahaha lol talk about amateur hour

Gotta check the back of the freezer.

I'm in uni at the moment. What is you education level? Drop right out of middle school, drank a can of led based paint and picked up a brush to use your newfound superpowers?

Never claimed to know psychology, but I've been on the internet long enough to recognize a Chris-chan level tard when I see one.

So you're already in college and you still don't get any pussy?

got it

No, now I am. You're relieved. Good day!

freezer eh, necro and furry? :3

confirms zero lack of training in psychology

see how easy that was?

Your interest in my sex life if a bit weird tbh.
But I guess your life get really bleak when it is a continuous rotation of:
1. Wake up.
2. Slather paint on a wall.
3. Waddle over to bed.
4. Pork your obese bpd wife.
5. Thinking about gaming chairs.
6. Crying yourself to sleep, hoping this is the night wify rolls over in her sleep and put you out of your misery.
7. Repeat.

Ew. Fuck no. I break of pieces to feed my tropical fish.

LOLvis has been found dead