/cel/

/cel/ -- lies and slander edition
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Is it better to be premature or late, I wonder?

I'm the premature type

There is another test point too but the mouth is the more sensitive instrument

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This thread will feature the moderately subtle (at least enough to fool the mods) pedophile continuing to ingratiate himself with the other anons, and, no doubt, Emma Roberts related schenanigans and tomfoolery.

And other faggot shit not covered by the above.

premature for Ari? no wonder why

Man I don't care about all this retarded drama I just wanna jack it to celebs

And other faggot shit not covered by the above.

The Netter shit falls into this category no?

Thanks pedo man

I can't help it…

Same. He won't stop.

Where will your sensitive instrument likely be placed when trying to analyze the amount of arousal I have from Emma?

When it crosses the cring line sure I guess? The cring line being showers, foot jobs, and some nonsense about mommy teaching her about blowjobs.

He won't stop.

14 hours a day pivoting around like a thread slut so you can get attention from people who should know better.

Pot? Meet Cancer.

no shame in that, her embarrassingly high heels sometimes make me premature too

I'm pretty sure there's more than one person who calls her Netter anon, it's the nickname all her friends call her. It shows up like 30 or 40 times in her book.

Which book?

NO BULLY

Stop all the gay shit?

Just wanted to confirm. "Netter" does not appear 30 - 40 times in that book.

Jenetter

Appears three times, all in Chapter 41.

Yeah he's bullying me again…

she got the dogs out

“No one’s looking, Jennetter. You’re fine.”

“That’s better, Jennetter.”

“Oh, right,” he says, remembering his train of thought without my help. “Every kid out there would kill for an opportunity like the one you’ve got. You’re very lucky, Jennetter.”

“I know,” I say while he keeps rubbing me.

Confession: I've not actually read it beyond the two blowjob scenes. I assumed it was a really common nickname like K-Stew, RiRi, etc because I saw other anons saying it.

Post Regis

What a fucking GAY way to make a living.

Just stick it right down my throat and don't tease me

It's probably just the one anon. Anyway I don't recommend it's not very good. Or maybe it is, I'm not a fucking book reviewer.

Need to play with her feet

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I'd cream my pants

Calling you a slut as I shove it down your throat and start fucking your face like you want it

What are you doing to her feet?

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Oh I get it. His thread failed. Makes sense I guess.

I do want it

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BD talks to himself too.

Yeah taste how aroused I am for Emma and your mouthpussy, as I manhandle you on your knees and make you gag

it's all beady

Sadly that's not true.

I am awake once more.

The friend of the pedophile talking to himself has arrived.

Yeah he's bullying me again…

STAND BEHIND ME

BD just turned up so it's gonna get worse. Shit sucks. They need to go to discord or some shit.

If you're big enough to make me gag we are gong to have lots of fun

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The fuck kind of lazy bum ass faggot cunt wakes up after 11am?

fat nigga beady

Some people have shift jobs. You are retarded.

inb4 I was talking about a specific person without a job

shut up baldy

Total namefag death

He's unemployed and receiving welfare. When not being a cunt here he walks to one of two local libraries and hangs out with the other vagrants, scaring the poor staff who can't refuse them entry.

Presumably once he's finished this god awful display of lewding he'll fuck off to said library. Or start spamming of a different sort. It's hard to tell sometimes.

Val Kilmer is dead. He is still alive. The world should burn.

What is your usual point of no return? I bet you look and sound so cute getting pushed past that barrier

Now there's two fags who care about it.

The only fags in this thread are babbling about feet, and posting gay shit. Oh well.

Welcome newfriend.

K.

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Oh it's you. My bad. You should know better. He'll be at this for hours.

Glorious.

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That's one word for it.

dare to be bald

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The fucking diopter on those glasses. Holy fuk

typical NHS issue used coke bottle bottoms

Took me a minute, you're british. I was wondering what the hell the National Highway System had to do with glasses like that.

Enjoy your tariffs I guess? Can you take Liz Truss back please she's the worst export to our glorious country since y'all sent over Corden.

Truss has a book to sell, she wont be leaving anytime soon, we're hoping the tariffs collapse our shaky economy and bring us closer to civil war.

I'm not sure you accelerationists know what it is you are asking for. But okay.

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Such optimism. Well it's 10am here so I have to dash.

Cheerio pip pop savoly lovely jubbly you cunt.

savoly lovely jubbly

I have no idea what those mean but a britfag used them repeatedly a long time ago so I stole them.

we had a civil war awhile back, turned out fine
a Charles was king then too
enjoy your day

I had thought those were Victorian times. What do I know.

More ari

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Based

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carrying her to bed in nothing but one of your hoodies that's massive on her would be heaven

What would you do to her?

how do pardeners

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i'll do it, i guess

HE'S HERE

Thanks anon. I was in the bathroom.

i need you to point out who is "he". you cant just make random announcements without backing it up

t e a m w o r k

Gooning so hard

That is ironic in ways you can't begin to understand.

same

The room you call a home isn't big enough for most children. Yet there you are trapped inside it with no prospects of ever owning your own home.

enjoy your day

It will be without access to these threads from this point out so it can only be considered an improvement. Amazing how a pedophile and a canuck can ruin these threads. Makes you wonder what they're like irl.

Enjoy your day too.

That sucks. I've had the pleasure and Australia is a beautiful country.

Such a hot little spic

Oh. You're gay for Jeffrey Wright? OK nothing wrong with that.

What in the name of christ is it wearing? Do they lose the ability to appear "normal" every time they unlock a special personality trait?

If she wore something normal, you would not be talking about her
Marketing goal accomplished

FUCK.

Bella prefers you use they/them pronouns please.

I don't give a fuck?

Diagnosed AUTISM.
My shock and chagrin.

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Meanwhile during the 80s.

She's just so special and unique. Did you know she begged HBO to let her wear a chest binder because she felt uncomfortable with her booba when filming?

This pixie is prepped to do the dishes.

Sorry, They. They.

That entire generation is irredeemably mind-fucked.

Her brother done touched on everything including little boys.

*to do the anal fistings

To help cows and horses give birth.

There's more than one of them?

ナイス

You WILL adjust your language syntax for them.

I don't speak greatest Korean runes.

Some of her partners might have been a little chubby or a little ugly, but calling them cows and horses is rude and uncalled for

悲しい

Mah bad.

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しばくぞ

a threesome with her and Greta would be memorable

Greta looks like a little boy in my minds eye. Maybe go ask Jacob if he'd be interested.

so ugly, no man or woman wants you

identify as they/them

That's cheating

I laughed and am now going to hell thanks.

Did Kirk cheat when he changed the parameters of the Kobayashi Maru?

Kirk

Star trek sucks

Admiral James Tiberius Kirk does not 'suck'

OH MY FUCKING GAWD IT'S SNOWING OUTSIDE. IT'S A LITERAL BLIZZARD OUTSIDE.

WHAT
THE
FUCK

Star Trek is fucking awful. In a hilarious kind of way.

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after about 170 hours into rimworld I finally understand how everything works, this is my best playthrough yet

Appropriate trips

That's two in this thread.

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Chakotay would fuck your shit up and let Mr. Neelix cook the remains.

Three if you count that abomination of a human in your pic.

I'm afraid I know not of what you speak.

Sad times.

lol you destroyed that retard

T-That's Janet right? Not MJ? Hard to tell sometimes.

that's michael

Admiral

He was demoted to the rank of Captain and remained so until his death. I wonder how that works in the UFP?

She was straight up FAT in the 80s, and then the 90s happened. I'll never understand the fascist outfits.

My bad.

JUSTICE FOR La TOYA JACKSON!

JUSTICE FOR La TOYA JACKSON!

JUSTICE FOR La TOYA JACKSON!

wait did alice actually fuck off

Holy shit.

The crew are off planet at the moment. They'll be back soon. All of them.

These people were all really famous huh?

And now they're forgotten. Do you think global superstars like Zendaya will still be remembered in 40 years?

Given the present pace at which media is generated, who fucking knows.

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Her parents look so proud. I think Zendaya will be remembered through all young actors and actresses who are inspired by her work and go into acting to emulate her.

t. Bella's generation.

Who?

that's her parents? No wonder she's so goddamn ugly

Her mom was kind of hot.

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She's beautiful.

yeesh

That is a man who knows his daughter is going to dominate the entertainment industry when she's older and become a billionaire.

ricci is a doll trips

ALLISON KNOWS HOW TO FUCK

And THAT is what purportedly kept the Asians from crossing the Bering Straight ice bridge thingumabobber until it went extinct.

based

Beringia wasn't real. It was invented by global science to sell maps.

LUNCH TIME.

I would wish y'all a pleasant afternoon and evening of threads but Alice and BD are still alive so..

Anything is possible. It's a good theory anyway.

I'm not really paying attention tbh, I'm reading a disappointing book.

Probably for the best.

The unnamed narrator dies at the end. It's probably for the best too.

Sure, why not.

Whatever helps you get throu the day anon.

what? maybe he just pulls it to the side. there isnt a straight man in the world who wouldnt ask if they could fuck her while she keeps her gymnast onesie on

OK anon.