I need my gay escapism. The real world is scaring me really bad today. Someone take me out of it and save me (/ _ ; )
Cozy gay bread :3
Bump
Lonely
I wouldn't mind falling asleep with my face in a sho's crotch and his in mine
I wish I was a sho
Sorry, annoying melodramatic vent. Just have no one in my life to share it with.
I’m at the end of my rope Anon Babbleros like I just can’t pretend it’ll ever get better anymore.
Been depressed since I was a teen but it’s only gotten worse, so much worse. Not taking care of myself and I don’t want to. I really don’t. I’ve tried therapy and almost every anti-depressant and mood stabilizer under the sun. Nothing has helped. Weed doesn’t help either. I’ve been thinking about suicide a lot since I was a teen (late 20s now) but these past couple years it’s gotten way more real and serious. Like constant thoughts every day, but just thoughts.
Now this past month it’s been nonstop and I had an epiphany today, where I almost felt a sense of calm come over me when I accepted my fate. Something stressful happened at work and I was FINALLY just like… I don’t have to feel this way anymore. I can escape. I don’t want to hurt my family I really really don’t and they’re my only anchor to this world but I can’t handle this anymore. I haven’t been happy in years. Constantly daydreaming of something coming and saving me but it never will. IT NEVER WILL. I don’t want to hear otherwise it’s only gotten worse and if it ever does come, it can just as easily be taken away. And I can’t wait any longer. And if I were dead, it wouldn’t matter anyway. No person who has successful killed themselves regretted it because, well, they’re dead and don’t have to be plagued by human emotions anymore. I dunno. All this being said I probably won’t. I can’t hurt my family. But I’m so close and I’m scared because I’m at a point where I no longer trust myself not to.
Anyway I don’t really want to talk about it I just wanted to word vomit at you all because I can’t tell anyone this in real life. That felt good at least.
If I was a one what would you do with me?
I’m gay
can confirm
That epiphany thing you describe that's super real. I had multiple in my life. For you, you describe it as if you need to escape that shit. For me it was two different forms of realizing all that shit that's getting me pissed / down / stresses all that shit is completely irrelevant . I dunno what advice to give you other then keep on keeping on
Kiss me or gtfo
Thank you so much. I will try my best, even if it seems pointless. My epiphany was just that even at its best, life is pointless and boring and shit can hit the fan at a moments notice. So why try. If I was dead I’d have no regrets, no anxieties, no sadness, no problems. So why not, you know? But I’ve calmed down a bit. But it will be like this for a very long time. It has been like this for a very long time.
I love you anon I hope you’re doing alright.
Hello
932903379
Don't touch kids like that.
Last night I was borderline suicidal. Today I took my meds, got some work done, and socialized a tiny bit. Feeling better now even if not fantastic
That’s good to hear, but I’m so sorry you felt that way last night.
What do you take? I’ve tried so many things. Nothing helped. One thing started to help slightly, I got the tiniest glimmer of hope then it stopped working.
Not kids. Shos.
Bupropion and Ritalin
At one point in my life i could understand how you are feeling. I cant promise it will get better anon, but there is so much good in the world. Never use a permanent solution for a temporary problem.
Just hit the couch after cooking dinner and cleaning up. My femboy is taking a shower. When he gets out he's going to help wrap my finger that nearly cut off, but am too afraid to look at myself. Then we're going to get stoned and watch Letterkenny. I envy no man.
Bupropion was the one that helped slightly, then stopped :/ I hope it’s treating you well. Never took Ritalin
Thank you so much anon I appreciate it, and I’m sorry you’ve felt that way before too. I just don’t think the good outweighs the bad unfortunately. It never can. One tiny piece of dog shit on a big plate of delicious food still ruins the whole meal. There is so much evil in this world. And my problems aren’t temporary they’ve existed for over a decade now and have only gotten worse, and WORSE, and even if they got better, it isn’t even worth waiting for when I can just give up and not have to worry about it. And the world would still be a disgusting place to live.
I’m so glad you’re happy that sounds like a dream <3 I miss my ex like hell. Sorry about your finger though, you okay?
Yeah I have ADHD. Sometimes meds stop working for one reason or another.
I just had my follow up this morning. Everything is looking really good. The doctor even told him this morning, because he went in late because he knows I have really bad white coat syndrome. I never got this kind of love and devotion from girls. Not that I've made it a habit to partially amputate a finger... My favorite finger on top of that. But I totally get to keep it thanks to him.
Absorption is a real bitch. If you're not taking them with food, you're limiting the medicine's effectiveness. I usually get something to eat within about 30 minutes of taking my morning meds.
I don’t want to discourage you at all but I upped my dose when it stopped working and it made me full blown insane and manic. Actually seeing things and hearing voices, paranoia people were out to get me, so I definitely was absorbing it at least
That’s so sweet <3 Amazing for you. What the hell happened to your finger?
Im not sure if anything i can say will actually be of help. I dont know you and cannot suggest anything specific. Just know that its not too late to make the rest of your life like you want it. You cant have your earlier life back, but you can make your future better than it looks now. I will be going to sleep now, but i wish you luck.
I was taking off a vibration dampener and crank pulley from a very large engine. They weigh about 75 or 80 pounds. Not usually something I struggle with, but when it popped off the crank it slipped. I tried to catch it, but couldn't get ahold of it in time. It scissored the tip of my right middle finger between it and a metal fan shroud. Nearly cut it off. I only looked at it long enough to know I needed to go to the ER. My little bunny butt was waiting on me as soon as I got it of triage. I'll brevet forget that feeling of relief.
Never*
I want to feel a bushy cock
Holy shit dude that’s scary, glad you’re okay!
My little bunny butt was waiting on me as soon as I got it of triage. I'll never forget that feeling of relief.
Made me tear up. I hope to be that for someone someday.
Whenever I meet a “straight” guy like you they always say these nice things then couple months later go back to girls, maybe it’s meeting them online that’s the problem, how did you two meet?
This is just pedo shit, dude in yellow is obviously a kid.
Same.
Mb, I didn’t really think too deep into it I just imagined them both being cute twinks in PJs.
Also, what if I want to be the one that looks like a kid?
Goodnight anon. Thank you for the kind words.
Night friends I love you all
Bupropion was world changing for me but was only max good for like 3-4 years then it slowly went down hill until it wasn't doing anything for me