I know that most of you have never touched a woman, a small part of you are heartless psychopaths...

I've been in love many times but haven't fumbled. It's always been me who ends things due to either their abuse, demeanor, or toxic drama seekers. Usually the last part I'll play the part for that final huzzah but it's exhausting to try and maintain a relationship that way. Almost as exhausting as someone crushing on me but fears rejection.

You're one of three things:

1) much more virtuous than I am

2) extremely lucky

3) deceiving yourself

Only you know which one is the case, but since 2/3 are good things, I'll say:
Congratz, anon!

I've had friends and gfs and everyone has abandoned me
Oh well, at least I have a 7 inch dick

Eh. You either love someone or you don't. Romanticized versions of chasing someone until they submit belongs in movies and books. Nor am I asexual and confuse a best friend with a lover. Some might and good for them if they can make it work. It's not for me. I can be my soulmate's friend and lover. They don't get to choose that for me and emotional beat me down into thinking it's a healthy relationship

I'm just saying, if it's always you, who ends it, cos the other person came up short every time, for this or that reason, then you're:

1) better than me, just like how you're better than all your partners apparently

2) extremely unlucky, as in actually drawing the shortest straw multiple times in a row (random chance does allow for that)

3) bullshitting us

and yeah, first I said lucky, then I said unlucky.
lucky in the sense that wow, so lucky, it's not your fault X times in a row, you're free from guilt, etc, and unlucky in the sense that, wow you actually got shitty matches X times in a row, damn, poor you. two interpretations of the same events, the point is it's RNG. that was an inb4.

As for what you actually said here, recent studies show that 68% of romantic relationships started out as friendships. Now, yeah, this doesn't tell us anything about the number of friendships that did turn into romantic relationships, which is quite a different thing logically, but it does imply that most people in a relationship have a story about escaping the friendzone, even if most people in the friendzone have not escaped it.
Yeah, I don't know why I'm talking about this, you're the one who brought up friends...

Eh. I don't overthink it as much as you are. Can't really help who is attracted to me and they tend to be emotionally unstable brats. I've tried which is why I said it's easier to just give them what they want and end things with a bang

Like I said. Love hate relationship can be exhausting and have very little logic to rationalize

Yes and yes but I got over it once I met a new woman. You will too. One day some other chick will be the apple of your eye and you’ll forget all about her.

REcovery is painful, there is a lot of chemical detoxing post breakup. Chasing, is a nervous system response to feeling safe with love. It takes time, self awareness, not validated outwardly through her...

Thanks for sharing this. I just recovered from a "relationship" with a psychopath. I understood and was told love doesn't exist by him. I sense he would take on a trad wife if he could. Everything for him was transactional. With cyclical abuse for control and confusion (chemical hijacking), then exploitation on Anon Babble. Not all psychopaths operate this way, correct? Perhaps it's the lack of empathy mixed with the ideologies here.

I'm curious, what do you mean by a bang?

TFW woman touched me as a child and now I'm traumatized and like dick

Ending things dramatically. Often with a fight. They won't ever admit it because it ruins the fantasy but it's because they are so damaged it's just how they want things. Coming from an abusive upbringing myself I can relate so I play my part and give them the big finish closer.

Love isn't rational so I don't expect many people to get this. The movie Hancock sums it up pretty nicely tho

Thanks. yes - love isn't rational assuming one can feel it or choose to. Thats not how I'd want things to go out. To confirm you don't mean love bomb, get transactions (pictures, videos), exploit, degrade, discard with cruelty and blocking, as they say here go brrr? Just a fight? Would you at least have given her closure? I've never had an experience like this previous before and it's fucked me up.

Yes, I have been deeply in love and was loved back with the same intensity. Shit felt amazing
Only reason it ended was I couldn't figure a way to make it work in the long term, so I just gave up, which was painful cause at this point our feelings hadn't changed at all
She was the first to try getting back together, but I was unreachable. Then I was the one trying to get back to her. She was reluctant at first but ended up trying to accept me back until she realized she would never feel the same things for me ever again. At first we tried being friends but then realized that wouldn't work so we parted ways for good
Been almost four years since then and I still catch myself thinking about her once in a while even though I managed to kinda forget her face. It's weird
Good thing is I am now aware that I can be loved and there is someone out there that will make me click again

Just a fight that doesn't address the real reasons they self destruct the relationship. Usually shame and a deep rooted lack of self worth. That is the closure but I have to actually love the person or I'm a ghost

i fell deeply in love with a woman and i fucked up by letting her know, so she strung me along. she has a boyfriend and she would constantly hint that she's unhappy or that she's not going to stay with him and other such bullshit claiming to not think it's a big deal, or promising she'd break up with him when he's sober enough to take her seriously. she's even told me a few times that she felt the same way about me as i do for her. but for all the shit she talked about her relationship or that guy, she'd never really leave it all for me, even for a second. she'd blame some bullshit made up rules like it was some game or out of her control, as if she wasn't her own person. it's basically as if she was saying " hey you know all this terrible shit i complain about? well it's still better than taking a chance on you haha''. i realized that i could never do this to her if i was in her shoes and i loved someone the way i love her now, so i figured out i never really meant anything real to her. i knew i had to stop all contact with her. it was so difficult to do since i am pathetic and weak and i care for her a lot, but i did it and wished her well.
it hurts a lot but it is for the best and i'm just trying to forget and move on. i don't want to be some loser waiting in the wings or waiting for her shit to go south and catch her on a rebound like some shitty spare tire she keeps in the trunk. i dont want to be some sniveling simp subtly negging her bf over time like so many fags have done to me in the one relationship i've had in my life, like some gay war of attrition. i don't want to be someone's second choice. i want someone i love to love me back, i want it to be the easiest choice they ever had to make in their lives, to not even be a question in their minds. i guess it really is too much to ask these days though. c'est la vie

ah ok. Ghosting is brutal. Takes nothing to tie ends when dust settles. Ive got a few decades under me and never experienced these cycles or ghosting. But I was a manipulated toy so it makes sense he'd cut and run. Thanks

I don't mean ghosting for no reason but if someone wants to have a victim complex when they know they're being an emotionally abusive fuckwit, I'm not going to feel bad over it

Sure. I dunno you or the context, so grain of salt. Feel bad or not, its pretty weak sauce to ghost. Usually, with an abusive background, there is an abusive fucktard that contributed to the hopeless fuckwit who need lots of time to calibrate. But not always, she could be a cunt that couldn't cope. Still. Weak sauce.

I tried women for a while and decided I prefer men.

If someone treats you like shit and tried to play games with you, you don't owe them the satisfaction. Ghosting for other reasons is generally a dick move though and I'm very up front about when there's a compatibility issue

Lucky you. Wish I had options.I do enjoy self aware men though

no I never recoved. she was my second girlfriend. we were incompatible because she was religious, but God damn she had a nice ass you could bounce a roll of quarters off

ew gross

How did you cope when she finally and irrevocably dumped your ass for good?

I didn't cuz I was the one who broke up with her

I was in love and we were inseperable. I couldnt figure out why the sex was not quite right. I was banging all kinds of skanks on the side. After me she became a lesbian. She had told me she had those tendencies but assured me she liked dicks

Hey, sorry about late reply. I'm actually at work. Hope you end up reading it.
But yeah, all psychopaths are different, in the same way that all people are different, but one thing they share in common is what I like to call "muted affect", which means the "volume knob" of their emotions is turned down to like... a 2. This is before we even consider any capacity for empathy and so on, we're talking about their own emotions here. They can feel intense anger, boredom, excitement, arousal, or less commonly fear. But the rest of the human emotional spectrum is but a faint whisper in their conscious awareness.
No surprise your guy insisted that love doesn't exist, he likely never felt it. Neither coming from him towards another person, nor coming from another person towards him. That's not to say that he was never loved, or that you did not love him, remember, "muted affect", he would have trouble recognizing the feeling of being loved.

Agreed. Being treated like shit? Cut ties. My bad for talking to you like him, that's unfair. I'll use this as boundary lessons.

For me, receiving his constant discard cycles when I truly cared, just broke me, and he interpreted that as "games." Anyway, your point is fair if it was all one-sided.

Thanks for the insights, super helpful.
It seems his psychopathy just amplified whatever beliefs he chose to operate under. He flat-out rejected my love, knowing he'd artificially created those pleasure chemicals with his NPD cycles. As a golden retriever when it comes to love, yeah, I fell hard in that early honeymoon phase.

But that makes me wonder about the bigger picture here. A lot of guys seem to mistrust a woman's intent entirely, which makes it impossible for anything real to grow. If I speak like a woman, it's looked down on. If I speak like a man, I'm "playing games." Tough spot to be in.

I'm not a normie Chad-woman, but I'm not a disrespected slave either. Anyways, thanks!

No worries anon. I'm adorable as fuck so people tend to think I'm a push over then act offended when I put my foot down. Worst is when they run to their friends and act like they were wronged so I get them climbing up my ass. Ooooh wellll

But yeah. Sorry you were treated that way

But have any of you ever truly been in love?

yes once, but she divorced me, and now, 5 years later, I still hold out hope that we can be together again

Relatable... appreciate the sentiments. Here's to having self aware people in our circles!